Being : ‘Ethical’

Ethic is a strong word, like a huge metal chain, tying people to their respective social limitations and instructing them to perform according to the ethics which were fed to them when they didn’t even know the meaning of the word ‘ethic’ itself. There are thousand of codes of ethics for a human being, spread across various stages of his life. Our elders, religions, societies and governments have successfully drawn out ‘code of ethics’ to maintain the normal functionality of the system but, still they find it hard to maintain the balance, revolts break out, thefts & murders happen continuously.

On a personal level, I feel ethics are boundaries we create for ourselves. We don’t choose them, we accept them as they are passed down to us by our parents, teachers and other elders. Many times in our lives we want to live a free life, in which we are not bound by any rules, where there are no boundaries, no secrets, no feelings to hide, but at a certain point, we feel the need to suppress our feelings for the only reason that society won’t be able to understand. Actually society comes in the scene much later, our own family members are unable to understand us at times, our friends tell us to talk to the hand!

I was having a conversation with a friend few days ago, we were texting each other. She opted texting for the reason that she wouldn’t be able to speak her heart out over the phone call. She had breakup with her boyfriend a night ago and she wanted to tell someone about what was she feeling about it. Of course, she was feeling bad, but she was feeling angry as well, very angry. Her boyfriend had been trying to force her to behave in a certain manner, he wanted her to stop talking to her friends, her colleagues and stay available for him round the clock, no matter what time of day it was, he wanted her to be there for him even if that meant going against her family or stop talking to her friends. This is an example of forcing ethics on someone. Sooner or later, the other person is just going to part ways.

Ethics should be told, should be explained easily enough for a person to understand and not laid out as commandments which one must follow at all cost. People should be taught to choose their own ethics, like they chose what to wear (after a certain age). Ethics should be taken as set of values one designs for himself to take him through his life. Sit in silence, think about your life’s events in the last six months. During this period you must have made some very wise decisions and some very poor ones. You must have been happiest at times and saddest at others. Point out the wise decisions, point out the happiness because in the end, all that matters is whether you are happy with whatever you are doing with your life or not.

People are not going to approve everything you do, they are not always going to like what you like. This is a simple truth told by everyone and still no one tries to follow his heart’s voice. Time is passing out, every second, even now while you are reading this article. Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set amount of it. You can make more money, but you can’t make more time. Your time is your life, that’s why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time. Take time for yourself, love yourself first of all and then love the world because when world will see you in such abundant love, it will automatically fall in love with you. The best way to spell love is T-I-M-E.

Ethics exist for the masses, not for the classes. Most of us have read positive thinking books which claim that humans are compassionate and emphatic. They point out the fact that man can achieve anything he dreams of, that man can become anything he wants to, and man should speak anything he desires to. If every human being starts following these three basic rules, ethics will find their way out of the society. The only thing that worries humans to live fearlessly is the breach of the ethic code. Populations follow ethics where as governments wage wars. A poor man’s ethic is to stay loyal to his master and a rich man’s ethic is to give enough money to his servant so that he could just survive. In both the situations, wrong ethics are being followed and it is because the mindset one develops at a certain age.

You can map out a fight plan or a life plan, but when the action starts, at one stage one needs to act past ethics, let them be where they are and act on reflexes and intuition. Too many people get credit for being good, when they are only being passive. They are too often praised for being broadminded  when they are so broadminded they can never make up their minds about anything.

Being ethical is not about accepting & following twenty or so rules everyday, but about doing things that change you. Because change is the only constant in the universe. Everything is changing all the time. It is a moral ethic. If you behave the way you change, you will be transformed. I am not what I was way back in 2008, I won’t be in 2016 what I am in 2012. I am not afraid of changing, I am open for a change and I welcome change with open arms because it is the most natural gesture in an otherwise routine human life.

We claim to be doing good, we preach good all the time but all I want to know is Who Defines ‘Good’? What is Good? If whatever is written in the holy scriptures is good, then we’re actually evil because we are not following the instructions completely. How to define ‘Good’? A ‘good’ for one might not be ‘good’ for another and the confusion will further grow into a disease of the thought & mind.  The answer is that there is no good answer of this question. So as parents, as friends, as children, as a part of the society, we fumble through and make decisions that allow us to sleep at night, because personal satisfaction is more important than societal ethics, because love is more important than the law.

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